Love.
I'm not talking about the romantical type either. I'm thinking about perfect love. The kind the scriptures refer to as the greatest. It casteth out all fear. It never fails. Ever.
I officially started my para-professional job this week. I met Anna and Katrina (Anna's mother) at their home. I rode with them to school, attended preschool, and rode home with them.
It was an excellent first day for her. She was happy. She made gleeful sounds. It brings a smile to my face to think that she was experiencing something new and felt joy.
Let's visit Katie's life about 4-ish year ago. A couple months before I graduated college I walked past the Clark building on campus. Through the window I watched as a student, most likely an E.C.S.E. major (my major before I switched to art) helped a young child in leg braces with a little walker. I paused for a moment observing the scene before me. As I did, hot tears burned my eyes as I realized that had I not changed my major, that student could have been me. I could be the one making difference in a small child's life. I could be the one to support this small physically challenged child. Yet, I wasn't. I was going to point my camera at people, tell them to smile, then click the shutter.
I walked away from the window full of sorrow. I had given up my opportunity to aid this child and many others. Or so I thought. A couple weeks ago I received a call from the school district. The principal of a local elementary school invited me to assist a girl one-on-one named Anna. Immediately I recognized the opportunity the Lord had given me once again to aid a child with special needs. This blessing brings happiness into my soul.
A little background about Anna. Anna was adopted at birth. She was a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Or so everyone thought. At her two month check-up, her head measured larger than average. A few tests revealed that she had hydrocephalus. A condition of excessive fluid around the brain. More tests dropped an even bigger bomb. Anna didn't have a brain, or rather she had a brain but it had stopped growing and developing.
There are many difficulties for Anna as a result of these issues. She has cerebral palsy. She has a vp shunt. She is small. (Though, don't let her size deceive you. She is very study and quite heavy.) She seizures often. She has acid reflux (as in she throws up daily, multiple times). She's in diapers. She has a slow response, if any. She is fed a very specialized diet, mostly through a g-tube. So much to remember. Including medicines, medical equipment, and medical bills. I have no idea how much her parents pay out of pocket or how much help they get from insurance or the government.
Anna also exhibits many strengths. She is content. She is calm. She is loving. She has very good muscle tone. While the part of her brain that processes information is stunted, her brain stem and cerebellum are healthy. She can see and hear, she just can't process the information she receives.
I won't lie. Thoughts such as, "Why do they work so hard to keep her alive? She's hard to take care of, she's expensive, time and energy consuming, etc. Can she really even understand what is going on?" These questions and more have gone through my mind. She's just one person.
Just one person. Just one person?! She is a daughter. A beloved daughter of God. A beloved daughter of her saintly adoptive parents. She is divine. She has a mission. She is beautiful. She's just different. She's her own mold. And I love her already.
It surprised me when I first felt this definite feeling inside me for Anna. I had only spent one day with her. Yet, already my heart was growing for her. What a tender mercy. He has softened my heart of my doubts as well as my fears so that I can love her without hesitation.
I know that this job will be challenging. Yet love makes it easier. I am excited to work with her and allow her to teach me. I pray that my heart will be open, my spirit responsive, to learn all I can from her. I pray that my mind and actions will be intuitive to give her the best care I possibly can.
Love is not that googly-eyed look I thought it was while growing up on Disney movies. Love is not a feeling or an emotion. Love is an action. A motivator. A power. A force.
Speaking of growing up on Disney movies...a few months ago, I visited a friend and Disney's 'The Sword in the Stone' was playing in the room. There was some dialogue between Merlin and Arthur that piqued my attention. Arthur and Merlin had just had their run in with the enraptured girl squirrels. {Tehe. :)} They are walking away when Merlin comments, "You know lad, that love business is a powerful thing". Arthur then asks, "Greater than gravity?" Merlin's response (love it!):
"Well, yes, boy. In it's way, I'd say, yes, it's the greatest force on earth."
I hear that, Merlin. :)
