Serving God With My Emotions

Life 'A-ha' moment this weekend! In preparation for a lesson on Sunday I was reading through different materials. As I read through chapters here and chapters there something clicked for me.

Throughout my mission, like many missions all over the world, we recited Doctrine and Covenants Section 4 every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Verse 2 of that section holds the secret to success as we pursue God's will:

Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day. 

One of the author's I read this weekend defined those as the following:

Heart = emotions and sentiments 

Might = will power

Mind = intellect and reasoning ability

Strength = time and energy

Whoa! Wait? What? Our heart = our emotions?!?! In all my previous studies I had equivalated (I totally just made that word up... my blog, my words! Haha! It is Sophisti-KATE-tion after all ;) )  my heart as my desires -

"Do I desire to serve God? Yep. Check! Done. Next?" 

NO!! Cut off short. I then asked myself, "Can I serve God with my emotions? Yes. Am I doing that?"

That got me thinking, "How can I serve God with my emotions?"

I thought of how when I do not control my thoughts, which lead to my emotions, I am prone to dwell on petty feelings. For example - resentments, offenses, jealousies, anxieties, self pity, etc. None of these which lead me to ACT (strength) in service to God with all that I have. 

It starts out so little. Lately I have felt so hopeless, or without hope. I know that this is draining my ability and power to reach up to heaven to draw down those powers available to God's children to bring about miracles here on earth... I'll work on that. Today I am carrying a paper around with me so I can track my thoughts. I can catch the Father of Lies in his tracks! When we know the plan of our foes it gives us power to conquer them. I will train my brain to think positively. I will have dominion over this instrument God has blessed me with to be faithful and fearless! :D 

Let's go get today!!

Life's Compostion

Tonight I taught a group of young girls some basic photography skills and composition tips. A perfect union of two of my favorites. I love photography and I love sharing knowledge. I believe that I have found my calling in life! 

Though most people aren't thinking about composition when they look at a photograph, they do notice when it is pleasing to look at even if they don't know why. A snapshot may capture a moment, but a photograph tells a story. Though I can't claim that anything is entirely original we all have unique experiences and points of view. I often say that everyone is living in their own reality made of of their own perspective created by the way they were raised, where they grew up, who they associated with, what they have observed, how they interpret what they see... so many variables that make up one's very own unique perspective. No one tells the same story, which is why it is so important that every one find their own way of expressing themselves. I love being able to facilitate in any way that I can the someone else's ability to create. Whether it's something technical like the aperture triangle or simply being their cheerleader. :) God is a creator. He is THE Creator. So when we create we are becoming a little bit more like Him as well as increasing our relationship with him. The most important thing when creating is to just do it. It sure doesn't have to be perfect. Waiting for perfection before we create will guarantee perfection will never be attained. 

Check out this picture:

Wow! A kitchen sink! Woop-ti-doo! I can hear you now, "Katie... why are we looking at this??"  My friends, this simple and boring picture shot during my early picture-taking career represents a life 'a-ha' moment. Story time!! :D

I was adventuring in California with my bestie, Sam, and staying with our other friends who resided in Cali. Can I just say - cutest apartment ever?!? I loved the attention and time they had given into making their apartment a home. It was SO cute and incredibly well decorated for a couple of young single girls. For example - The first thing I saw when I walked into the apartment was a huge tree painted on the wall! 

The morning before Sam and I left Cali, I made sure to photograph every room - no room escaped the sensor of my camera! As I went to take a picture of the kitchen and checked everything through my viewfinder before clicking the shutter, my eye stopped at the sink... dirty dishes....!! The first thought that came to my mind was, "Well, I could wash them". But I didn't want to. {Hey! Don't judge. Time was short. Dishes are a chore I don't mind so much. Just ask any of my missionary companions :) } My next thought was I could remove them, then put them back after my shot. But there's that time issue again, and I'd probably get dirty dish goop on my hands. My third thought was the winner -

"Kate! This is easy! Just change your perspective!!" So I did. I squatted lower {This is the real reason I've taken up yoga - better camera angle positioning posing strength!}. And you know what happened??! The dishes disappeared! It was a clean, empty sink! At least as far as the photo was concerned! In the moment that was all that mattered! They didn't show in the picture and they didn't exist in the captured moment! 

How often do we have 'dirty dish' moments in our lives? It could be a hurtful comment. Or receiving the cold shoulder. A bad test score. Or feeling like we've been forgotten by those who mean the most to us. How about unmet expectations? From ourselves, family, or life? Our dirty dishes can at times seem overwhelming and exhausting. Yet, does the problem lie in what is really there? Or in how we perceive it? 

I can't count the times in life that I have felt let down or forgotten by God. These feelings - though they seem silly and irrational when I talk about them out loud - seem very real - and has given me a set of trust issues. Haha! But, seriously... ;) When those times come and my mind is filling up with evidence of broken trust, I can choose to change the composition. I search for and count evidences of the times he hasn't let me down and say a prayer in gratitude for those times. I especially look for times when I was hoping for something and got a completely different thing in real life - but it still worked out- often times better than what I could have hoped for. Or as the music group, "fun." sings it, "Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...Some terrible nights". Most times these scenarios take time to recognize the good fruit that come from hard situations. But they are there if we look for them. Having faith is work, and at times it is hard to be consistent in the little things, especially when we don't see any results when we are expecting them. 

Whatever happens, God is in it if we have invited him. Most of the time all it takes is permitting ourselves to shift our perspective from what we want now in the moment {if you're like me then you know what it's like to not know what you want - but whatever it is you don't know you want you still want it right now!} to what God sees and is showing us. We are here to fail. But we are here to get back up and try again tomorrow. As long as we give God our best we have done our part. Some days our best may be better than other days. Other days it will not be as good. I think God understands. 

Here is the good news with the perspective shift - When we feel like this it means we've mastered a another life level! When things get hard or we feel emptiness  growing inside - I can choose to see that as an invitation to dig deeper within myself to stretch upward and reach higher to increase my relationship with God. There are moments when I despair in my thoughts. On occasion, in weakness it even leaks out of my mouth. A quote from one of my favorite people comes to mind when I do, "Don't be defeatist dear. That is so middle class". I remind myself that we truly are royalty. Our Father is the King. He is in charge. I limit myself by allowing the adversary to convince me that I am empty. I'm in no way saying that what we feel isn't real, because it is real and it is hard. Once I accept those, I give myself power to overcome :) 

Life really is so good. These past few weeks have been a struggle. A struggle I blame on my own shallow perspective. I spoke to my bestie, Sam, on Sunday and she commented on how happy I sounded. I told her I was working hard (sometimes, it really is work - most definitely a concerted effort) to be happy and not let life get me down. It's tiring. But it's working! Fake it 'til you become it, right?! :) There are moments I just want to give up. But I won't. I will keep trying. I will continue on. I will hope on. I will plead and pray for strength. I ask God to send me messages that he is aware of me every day and every moment when I feel like I have been forgotten and set aside. I pray that I will be able to see and recognize those moments to not only give thanks, but to give proof to the faith that I think I already have.

There it is. In a nutshell - Change our perspective = Change our story. :)